“By the time our children become teens we want them to be responsible people”
Parenting is hard work! There are so many aspects to it, everything from discipline to helping our children make good food choices to winning their hearts! We also want to make sure we are teaching our children responsibility. We are living in a culture where more and more grown children are living at home and can’t seem to be able to move on with their own lives. God has given us the task of parenting and although we will always be our children’s parents we also want to equip our children for real life living! They are meant to go out and make lives of their own and we want them to be ready for that!
Chores can really help us in this area. I hear many moms say, “it is just easier to do it myself” or “it is not worth the complaining I will have to hear”, trust me- I HEAR you!! It is often not easy but we do our children no favors if we continue down this path because in the long run it will hurt them!
Our children can learn basic clean up rules at a very young age. I recently had a friend’s one year old son over and he was helping me pick up things, pulling his little legs to do small small chores for, I was very impressed!. Actually they usually love doing it at this age so it is the perfect time to start. Setting that precedent early helps you a great deal when they are older.
I read a lot of things about families doing things to connect on a deeper level. Working and doing chores as a family is a wonderful way to do this! As a mother or even as a parent you may hear complaints at first but if you make chores part of the family activities irrespective of the complaints you will all work as a family. And once the chores are consistent they will adjust and great conversations can happen when you are say cooking in the kitchen together or cleaning out the kitchen! Reward yourselves after the big jobs and go out for a treat. You are teaching your children the value of hard work and they will feel pride in a job well done!
Here are some lists to get you started:
Younger children can:
Put Toys Away
Feed and water the house pets
Wipe Down Table Tops
Dust (get a duster that they will love)
Set the Table
Throw Trash Away
Sort Laundry (great lesson on learning colors)
As they get older they can do:
Meal Preparation – They can wash off veggies and fruit/ help you stir (If you are there of course), and get ingredients together.
Make their beds
Pick up their Rooms
Help with Care of Baby (like making bottles and getting diapers)
Help Clean up the Yard
By the time our children become teens we want them to be able to:
Do their laundry
Cook some meals
Mow the lawn
Do basic car maintenance (like checking the oil and tires)
This is helping them be ready to go away to college, go for youth service or for when they get their first apartment or home! They will be grateful they know these tasks and often you will find more mature young people who save money and get good jobs at a younger age because of their knowledge in this area!
Remember when you are teaching your children, it won’t be perfect.
But you know what?
It absolutely important that we taught our children about their future and prepare them for life than to have the perfect made bed or swept kitchen! We are raising soon to be adults and we need to prepare them!
Happy new year everyone. I am sorry this blog seemed to have been quiet for a long time. I just want to let you know that I am back! The past few weeks have been spent seeking the face of the Lord concerning 2015. There are so many things the Lord is and has placed in my heart to do and I am want to get clarifications or confirmations that I am hearing well. Watch out as we get cracking. Happy new year once more. Shalom.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 610 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 10 trips to carry that many people.
Lately I started feeling that God was not sensitive to all the delays (pauses) in my life. Haba! Is He not aware? So much is happening, so much has happened and I am wondering if His heavenly radar is off me. There are things I have been praying for and have prayed for yet no sign! I have been mistreated, I have kept my cool when trampled on. I have tried to be patient with so much ill treatment all in a bid to remain …….. You what? Something changed when I had to read the book of Esther because of a plan I started on YouVersion. Esther showed me that all those pauses I felt were unnecessary delays from God were for a reason . Now let’s see if you will get my drift.
I can almost imagine the scene, a beautifully decorated table adorned with all the king’s favorites from first course to last course…every detail of this important night was purposely planned and executed. Esther was a queen who knew her king, and her king liked banquets….he liked them a lot actually.
So what better way to speak to her king on her people’s behalf than to first invite him and his buddy to a special meal! Come on girls, we all know one of the best ways to our men’s hearts is through their stomachs! Esther was no fool.
But something happened that night at the banquet, somewhere between appetizers and dessert, Esther sensed God guiding her to wait in sharing her request with the king. Imagine how hard that must have been! The pressure of thousands of men, women and children’s lives were at stake. Her words had to be perfect, the meal flawless. Everything needed to go exactly as planned…and then it didn’t. Personally in situations like this, I’d just as rather get it over with than extend the agony of waiting one more day and planning one more dinner party. But not Esther, she was a woman who was willing to wait on the Lord, even if it didn’t make sense to her at the time. Her trust was firmly planted in God, in His will, and in His timing. She was willing to wait if that was what her Lord was guiding her to do.
And so she waited.
“If the king regards me with favor and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and fulfill my request, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the banquet I will prepare for them. Then I will answer the king’s question.” Esther 5:8
Esther was a queen who knew the power of when to speak and when to remain quiet.
“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in setting of silver.” Proverbs 25:11
The right words said at the right time, in the right setting, that’s what Esther was aiming for. Sometimes we know what needs to be said, but the timing is off. Esther felt God press the delay button and so she postponed her request.
“God put it into Esther’s heart to delay her petition a day longer; she knew not, but God did, what was to happen in that very night.”- Matthew Henry
God was busy working in Esther’s period of waiting.
He does the same for us.
Sweet friend, don’t be discouraged if you are in a season of waiting. Don’t loose heart if you feel like God has had you press the “pause” button. Maybe it’s the desire to get married, but the right guy hasn’t come into your life yet. Or maybe it’s the desire to start a family, yet God hasn’t blessed you with a child. Maybe, just maybe, it’s in the silence, the unanswered prayers, the delay…the pause of life that God is working behind the scenes, writing an amazing turn of events story that is yet to be revealed.
Sometimes I think God does some of His best work in the “pauses” of our lives.
Don’t lose heart, sweet sister, if you are in a “pause”…you never know what God’s tomorrow will bring.
A sleepless night was on the horizon and an amazing turn of events was in the works.
I believe that you can understand why I have realigned myself to know that He my great God will work out His great purpose for my life in due time. With or without the pauses of my life. In due time He will come through.
Evaluating a friendship is often times necessary in order to improve the quality of your relationships. Some friendships come easily and are maintained well without any effort! Other friendships can seem draining at times, and when that happens, it’s best to take a step back and really question how to go forward with the relationship. Here are some useful questions to ask yourself when evaluating a friendship that will be beneficial for all your current and future relationships!
1. DOES SHE INVEST AS MUCH TIME AS I DO?
One of the key questions to ask yourself when evaluating a friendship is the amount of time both of you invest in each other. Sometimes, one of you will invest more time than the other, causing an imbalance in the quality of the relationship. It’s not essential that you see your friends or speak to them on a daily basis, but putting in the time fairly often is important for growth! If you are always the one to make plans and to reach out first, it may be time to ask some questions.
2. IS IT EASY OR DIFFICULT TO CONNECT WHEN WE’RE TOGETHER?
Some people are just naturally easy to talk to and get along with, and are gifted with the ability to put people at ease. Meaningful relationships should have this quality, despite personality differences. There is a big issue with not being able to connect with friends and having awkwardness in the air because it generally means you’re trying too hard to impress. Be yourself, and take note if you feel at ease around the other person.
3. CAN I TRUST HER COMPLETELY?
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. You know when you have it and when you don’t. Does she keep your secrets to herself? Can you depend on her when you need her and trust she will follow through? If the answer is yes then keep her close! If not, then it’s time to let that friendship go and move on- trust is just too important!
4. DOES SHE LISTEN?
All of us desire to be listened to and understood at the core of who we are. It’s expected for friends to turn a listening ear when you’re speaking and sharing your life with them, without interrupting and being dismissive. We all need to work on being intentional listeners, but if you and your friend don’t listen to each other as you should, then things need to change!
5. IS OUR TIME TOGETHER DRAINING OR ENERGIZING?
I know when I am with a close friend and I leave feeling energized with the knowledge of time well-spent, it’s a strong relationship. If you constantly leave your friend feeling drained and emotionally exhausted, then it’s not worth your time investing in that friendship! Drama and ridiculous behaviors shouldn’t be the center of any friendship.
6. DO WE ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER?
Do you go out of your way to encourage your friends and vice versa? And I don’t just mean when times are hard. It’s so meaningful and life-giving to encourage your friends just because you want to lift their spirits! If you know of a friend who encourages you in this way, definitely keep her around!
7. IS SHE A VALUABLE PERSON IN MY LIFE?
Lastly, and possibly the most central question to ask when evaluating a friendship, is asking if she is valuable to you or not. Would you be devastated to lose her in your life? Each response, yes or no, will provide you the means for where to take your friendship in the future and whether or not it’s worth investing in.
Friends are one of life’s most precious gifts that should be valued and treasured! Evaluating the state of your relationships ensures a healthy group of people to always surround yourself with. If you are lucky to have a friend that has got your back be wise to nurture it and do not let go, trust me as you get older it is difficult to make friends at least the kind that will always be there for you.
Personality traits are distinguishing qualities or characteristics that are the embodiment of an individual. They are your habitual patterns of behavior, temperament and emotion. However in psychology there are five broad dimensions of personality that are used to describe human personality. Every personality trait fall under these five dimensions and they are;
1. Openness to experience: (inventive, curious, consistent, cautious). Appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas. It is also described as the extent to which a person is imaginative or independent, and depicts a personal preference for a variety of activities.
2. Conscientiousness: (efficient, organized, easy-going, careless). A tendency to be organized and dependable, show self-discipline, act dutifully, aim for achievement, and prefer planned rather than spontaneous behavior.
3. Extraversion: (outgoing, energetic, solitary, reserved). Energy, positive emotions, surgency, assertiveness, sociability and the tendency to seek stimulation in the company of others, and talkativeness.
4. Agreeableness: (friendly, compassionate, analytical, detached). A tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. It is also a measure of one’s trusting and helpful nature, and whether a person is generally well tempered or not.
5. Neuroticism: (sensitive, nervous, secure, confident). The tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as anger, anxiety, depression, and moodiness.
If unattractive personality traits have started to define you, it’s probably time to leave them in the past and move on to being a better person. You won’t change who you are and how you act overnight; it’s a process. As you shed these unattractive personality traits over time, you’ll find yourself surrounded with good friends and a more well-rounded work environment, not to mention a better relationship with your significant other if you are in a relationship about to be married or married.
Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, the late, Amy Winehouse were all examples of a self destruction. Self-destruction is the epitome of unattractive personality traits and the one that really requires professional help to overcome. If people in your life are asking you to seek help, I hope you’ll consider it.
If you’re talking about friends behind their backs, what kind of friend are you? If you’re repeating things you’ve heard that might or might not be true, you could be forever damaging someone’s reputation. Think twice before saying anything about others, and you’ll find more people will trust you with confidences.
One way you can show you are unreliable is not showing up when you have planned to go somewhere with friend/s. This can happen to anyone because of circumstances beyond their control, but when it’s done repeatedly, it’s just a blatant form of disrespect. If you’re going to be late, pick up the phone and call the person waiting for you, and have a good reason to go along with your apology.
One of the nicest things you can do for someone is to be optimistic and show enthusiasm for their plans. Friends or family members that are considering starting a new business, a new relationship or any of a hundred things, would love to hear encouragement instead of all the reasons their plans won’t.
I love consistency. I love consistency in people. I want to know that the person I’m going to hang out with will be the same agreeable person I have always spent time with last week.
If you’re in a leadership position, it could be very tempting to be bossy. Don’t give in to it. Delegating projects to your team should be done in a way that will make them eager to do a great job. Barking orders has the opposite effect. In a friendship or romance, being bossy can be the kiss of death.
When you care about someone, the things they say to you not only hurt or encourage you but you tend to believe them. If you have someone or people around you who constantly bring you down by their attitude or what they say to you please let them go. It is only by disassociating yourself from those persons that You will regain your optimism and sense of fun.
If you’re a controlling person, chances are you won’t recognize the signs in yourself. Hopefully, people in your life will tell you and try to help you. You can just ask yourself simple questions and give honest answers to find out if this is behavior you’re guilty of displaying. When you have the need to regulate someone else’s life, to constantly inform them that your way is the only way, you’re controlling. You should know that sooner or later, the person you are controlling would rid themselves of you and your desire to dominate them.
Are you friends with someone that displays negative personality traits? Have you attempted to discuss it with them? It’s easy to pretend it doesn’t exist for the sake of harmony, but you know that harmony is short-lived when you’re dealing with a person that has personality issues. Life is too short, let’s be careful.