Loving yourself is an important part of enjoying and getting the most out of your life. It is crucial for getting and maintaining satisfying relationships with others. Babe loving yourself is mainly having self respect, which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself. Do not allow anybody tell you how your life should be. I am at that point in my life where I do not have patients for rubbish. I do not allow people to tolerate me, for what kwanu? If you think the sun shine from you and the moon sets with you nne I will shift kiakia from you. Who has time for drama? See sistas create your own activity!!!
Mandy Hale said and I quote,’ If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing people who don’t love you either’. Trust me sis you don wanna find yourself in this situation cos you will be messed royally. You see all these people you are chasing to validate yourself? They have little little demons that they are fighting with, in my own language I will say they have their own “skoyi skoyi”
There is a story trending this week on instagram. American plus sized yoga instructor, Jessamyn Stanley is a woman confident about herself and about her body. She never shies away from sharing photos of herself practising her act via any social media platform. She said recently in one of her interviews that the world we live in makes it difficult to be confident in yourself( tell me about it). She said that social media is good but just like every other media determines what is accepted, believed, emulated, liked, loved, glamorous etc(Gbamsolutely!!!). As a plus sized woman, she said that her confidence and self love is always evolving. She said that self hate doesn’t go away that it takes work!(Babe talk on oo!)
Jessamyn said that she makes it a point of duty to constantly go back to her drawing table to wipe away yesterday actions and try to release both the good and bad emotions. She advised that one should try to be compassionate towards herself, try to show yourself love instead of hate. Decide that against all odd that you must survive.
I am going to put down a checklist of sort to help us. Some I have been practicing, some I read up as I was looking up materials for this post and they are;
- Stop trying to be perfect because nobody is!!!
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Babe so you no know say you dey unique ekwa? Na wa to you oo!!!
- Be who you really are. Nbok trying to be another person is hard work o.
- Try to look past ‘material’ objects and feelings. In this reception(recession) cut your coat according to your wrapper. Figure out what you really want. If looking for that position, power, religion, or motive is time wasting, energy sapping, financial consuming please do jump and pass and move on to something less stressful biko.
- Take things one day at a time.
- Learn to let go of past events.
- Forgive yourself a lot ooooo.
- Define yourself by your effort not your accomplishment (hmmmm!!!)
- Sit in front of the mirror productively( sounds oyiboish) You have to learn howto do this according to experts. Validate yourself when you sit in front of the mirror. Encourage yourself always.
- Nurture yourself. Here I need to expartiate a little. Self care is very important. Set up time to be by yourself . You can nurture yourself physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually.
- Treat yourself like you will treat your best friend.
- express yourself. Find out what hobbies you enjoy and use it to express yourself.
- Practice saying ‘no’. My sista it is very ok to say no to people when you do not feel like doing something. Do not feel guilty about it. Just realize that you have the right to do so.
However I must warn that as you are loving yourself and doing all that I have suggested that you:
- Your problems give you opportunities to develop skills, abilities and your character.
- Loving your self does not mean grabbing all of the attention and becoming selfish.
- Trust who you are and decide the answers for you. Do not alter yourself because of the things people say.
- Trust your own judgement. Everything suggested, while it may work for the person who added it, might not work for you. Learn to trust yourself as that is a big part of self love.
- Loving oneself is not the same as narcissism, which is negative and a huge turn-off to others as it involves placing oneself above others.
- Misery loves company, so do not hang around unhappy, frowning and grouchy people.