Archive | March 2013

When No One Understands

When I got into facebook, I got in because  I wanted to connect with my secondary school classmate, my university mates and possibly my primary school mates (in short this category fascinated me, yeah right I thought, primary school mates !) But somewhere along the line, I made friends with a lot of women who needed an avenue to vent. Vent their anger, show that they have arrived, show new clothes and styles they sowed and some shared their disappointment in their relationships. The list was and is endless. The category of women that I quiet identified with because hey I am a woman were the ones who posted the challenges they were having in their homes, career etc.

As long as we are on this planet, we will surely have  our share of struggles, they can come from our husbands, children, our work (oga and madam at the top), business and other stress load. They are all part of living life on planet earth. Sistas as our faces are different, our challenges are different. One woman has a child with learning disability, another has a child that drives his teachers and classmates crazy with his know it all attitude. One woman has a romantic, sensitive husband while another has a husband who flips at the slightest provocation, screams and yells at everyone in the house. One woman struggles to make ends meet because either she has a layabout as a husband or that the husband is out of work. Another woman is also having problems because the husband is a workaholic, she and the children really see him. One woman has a husband who travels a lot and when the wife calls another woman picks the call. Another woman has a husband who visits home because he renegaded on his responsibilities as a father. Another woman  is everywhere, today London, tomorrow USA, next tomorrow Australia , while another suffers a debilitating disease.

You name the challenge and you will a woman facing it. When I saw all these status on facebook or any other social media that I am on, I say a prayer for such a woman and I feel that after all I am not alone, and that helped me a lot my sistas. Now sistas, don’t think that that woman that jets all over the world is immuned to challenges of life, haa! We will be somewhere envying her and wishing that we could trade places with her, but if she opens her mouth, you will tremble.

All our lives are riddled with trials, hardships and circumstances that truly no one else can understand. I get the feeling that my husband who I live in the same house with our kids  don’t even get it! But you know what sistas, Jesus sees and He knows, Halleluyah! He is the only one that understands all our challenges. He can sympathize with our struggles because He was born to die for us. Jesus felt temptation to the fullest degree but He did not give in. He suffered deeply for us. We serve a God who understands ooo.

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Hebrew 4 v 15 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just  as we are – yet he did not sin”. Our God is not a distant God – He came near by dying on the cross for our sins and after he rose from dead – before he ascended into heaven, his last words were that he would send the Holy Spirit– the ultimate comforter to be with his children. We do not need to walk this road of challenges alone. we are the children of the Most High God! He is with us every step of the way.

You known there are days you will be overwhelmed by issues  and challenges but know that you are not alone, look for a good friend you can share your problems with not a blabber mouth, join an all women fellowship, be involved in your church evening programmes, make out time to spend with God, read your bible and meditate ( by the way you need the Holy Spirit to explain the scriptures to you). My sistas what I have just told you have helped me to find comfort in my personal struggles and they are many.

I urge you my sistas to use this period leading up to Good Friday and the Easter celebrations, to draw near to God in his word and prayer. Open to the gospels, breathe in his love and truth and exhale all your burdens. It is well and don’t forget that God understands.

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Prayer Journal To the Rescue

Gods Woman restingAs I look back to all my struggles to maintain a time with God, I realize that God allowed all that to happen because He knew that a time will come when I will share this with you my sistas. Let me explain better, you see all my life, scribbling things came very natural to me. Keeping a journal or diary was my thing. Sometimes when I read those things that I wrote I will wonder if truly, yours truly wrote them. I am not claiming to be Chinua Achebe but to my standard, it was something. Ehen, back to what I was saying. What changed you will ask? Something really simple. I began to journal………I began to write my prayers! Instead of saying my prayers and getting all the distractions of this world, I started writing it o. My journal began as letters to God which quickly evolved into daily conversation with God

Let me tell you how it started. One day I had a fight with a very good friend when I went to her house, you see our friendship brought our husbands together, our kids are about the same ages. The quarrel was over something silly as far as I was concerned. When I left her house I  decided to get some foodstuffs at the market and because I was angry, talking to myself and justifying my actions, I was not paying attention I hit someone’s car. The impact was more on my car and when I called my husband he did not find it funny and in some strong words made me know that. So could a day get any worse? When I got home, I was bedside myself. I needed to vent my anger. I wanted someone to hear my side of the story at least! I entered my children’s room and started putting toys, books, stockings, shoes etc in order and I remembered picking an exercise book that my daughter got from a recent birthday party of her classmate in school. I took it and an idea came to me and I went to that my natures corner and I took a pen and I started  writing a letter to God, explaining how things turned out bad that days. My sistas by the time I was through, goodness! I was relieved and most importantly I saw where I made the mistake and because I was not in control of myself, wrong actions led to other wrong actions. I should have broken the cycle. Anyways, I realized that I was always looking forward to writing my daily activities, my joy. sorrow, disappointments, my children antics, house help issues, wow the list was endless. That was how my prayer journal came to be. See sistas you might need to keep this because , the good thing about this way is that you can get a jotter or thick covered notebook that can fit into you bag. You can pull it out anywhere, office (when you are on break), at home when your children are with you, they can distract with their complaints but you can look up from your prayer journal, pen still poised  and calmly solve the ’emergency’ and pick up where you left off, (no challenge).

You see sistas, in our ever busy schedule as women, mothers, wives etc standing on Christ the solid rock is our sure bet. Putting pen to paper will slow us down, keep us focused on the person we are talking to, the ALMIGHTY GOD, who said in Psalm 50 v 15, “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me (kjv). My sistas, this has worked for me over the years and I believe that if you want this wonderful God that saw my struggles to spend time with him and gave me this strategy, He will let you know how best to reach Him, He is ever faithful to fail. But if you think this will work for you by all means try it and you will be glad you did.

 

Finding my time in His Presence 2

;-)SPEECHLESS=x_3As my frustration mounted because I had to sort my time with God issues, I had to patiently clarify my request to my children. I explained the fact that they my kids know that God is always  with us and I saw tiny heads bobbing in agreement, I told them that though I know and they too know that God is invincible, that Mummy needs to spend some time with this God and that if I do, I will tell him God that they my kids made it possible and He will reward them. I also told them that I needed somewhere quiet to pray and read my bible in peace in short ALONE. This I believe clinched the deal for me so determined that this time with everybody understanding each other, I  will have at least ten minutes alone with God. And so I locked the door and started my praise before moving in to worship, half way I noticed small piece of papers that materialized from under my door and my children whispering that they were sure God had come down and He was going to show Mummy those papers! By the time I moved to worship, the whispers became louder and they were arguing if Mummy was aware that God was pointing me to those papers, meanwhile sistas, I was trying very hard to keep my focus, but when I struggled with maintaining the said focus I gave up. I opened the sheets of paper to find that, “I want to poopu” was there. “This one pinched me and did face like this to me” was was there. So my sistas, I decided to pray  early in the mornings. I used my phone to set alarm for myself o for 5 am, but do you know that before the alarm goes off, I don use one hand quench am sharpaly sharpaly and continue my sleeping  jor. Body no bi fire wood ojare. The next thing I did was to decide that before I go to bed at night that I will have this my elusive time with my God. Joke of the century! By the time I know wetin dey happen, I am sleeping because I knelt down and kept my head on my bed. If I did not fall asleep eeh, I was busy wondering If my house help locked the gate, parlor and kitchen door or even making a list of the things I will buy from the market or better yet wil be calculating how my waka (movement) will be the next day, chai!

You see my sistas, prayer is the most frustrating aspect of every woman’s walk with God. That is the most singular reason we the mothers and women in the society do not achieve much instead we resort to other very stupid means to achieve our aims. See o sistas, we can send arrow prayers to our enemies when jungle matures or fall to our knees when we are upset with our husbands and in laws.  Aaaa! we can pray in groups or with friends but hey when it comes to consistent one on one communication with God, you go see say e hard!. Watch for how I succeeded at last!

Finding my time in His Presence 1

“But when you pray, go into your (most) private room, and closing the door, pray to your

Father who is in secret, and your  Father who sees in secret will reward you in the open” Matt 6v6 AMP.

Hmm, sistas, when I tried to establish a regular quiet time with God, a lot of drama took place o. I made an announcement in my home  one day (by the way I have three kids, two boys and a girl), see sistas don’t bother about their ages but when this event took place they very little. Ahem, back to the announcement, I told my kids that I their mummy was looking for somewhere in the house I will be meeting Jesus  to pray. The reason for carrying my kids along in this search was because if a place was found and mummy goes to stay with Jesus, there will be no distractions. Eventually a little corner was  identified by my daughter in my room and she immediately called it “NATURES CORNER”. Now if you went to primary school in the 80’s like I did, you will understand what a natures corner was, my daughter was not born then but in my home  precisely in the kitchen, a small corner like that existed where I  planted beans, onions, yam, Irish potato okro etc. I gave the corner that name and my kids adopted the name, so my little corner became natures corner. Now in my natures corner, my kids helped mummy put a chair, a table, my bible and all my devotionals, my bible marker and a rug for my feet. Comfy you  will say.  My kids were running from pillar to post to make where mummy will be meeting Jesus comfortable. They also got a chair for Jesus! After all Jesus will not stand up while talking to mummy.

The first day, which was during my kids holiday as schools were out, I fed them and put cartoon on DSTV to occupy them and so thinking I got everything covered, I went into my room and closed the door. I did not lock the door because I felt my kids and I had an understanding. Closed doors are usually irresistible to small children like mine and I made the mistake of telling mine I wanted some time alone with God. My kids like yours  and every other woman’s child within the age bracket of mine then could not resist the opportunity of seeing God talking to mummy. I had barely reached my natures corner when I saw noses peeking under the door. Notes started appearing under my door for one emergency or the other. Stay tuned for the part two.

Finding That Quiet Time And Place

This blog will start well and by starting well, I want you to know that I am at that point in my life where things must be done in their right order. By right order I mean ensuring that God who is the silent listener in every conversation is involved in this conversation and for Him also to partner with us in this business. Those who support this, say aye! Aha! the ayes have it. You see Sistas, the reason our lives seem hurried and harried is because we  usually do not   put things in their right perspective. Let me ask, Sistas, who is in charge of your lives, homes, career, business etc? A lot of us women wake up like I do occasionally, jump into their kitchen to prepare breakfast  for their families in the morning and snack/lunch for those going to school and thereafter  jump into the bathroom and next off to work or to their business places. Experience has taught me that my day should start with finding God and putting Him first in all things. If we go to God first, He will fill us, help us and stretch our time and day for us. See, Sistas, I don’t know how God does this, I only know that He is Almighty God and He  does things. I will tell you  that for you to overcome the times we are in (terrible times), to have the power that will move whatever it is you want to achieve (hmm?), you must take time to seek God’s will through prayer and reading the bible. Your home, career, business, relationships, health etc depend on it. The purpose of seeking God is not to give you standards to meet, but to bring you to the One who will and can help organize you (if you get my drift) . According to Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest), he said, ” If we completely give of ourselves physically, we become exhausted. But when we give of ourselves spiritually, we give more strength. Let me leave you to assimilate this for now. In my subsequent posts you will see how this woman, are you looking for the woman? It is me ke! you will see how I fought to establish my time with God. No be small thing o.